ok...this post is not about me or my life(personal or professional per say)....its about my bro...he is going through a tough phase in his life..so lets see if u girls can help him out...
my bro is 22...he is working with Ericsson in Gurgaon as a Network engineer...he did his engineering from amity noida. Most of his friends are either outside Delhi or working at distant locations in delhi...
okie..coming to the "problem" that he is facing...he and two of his other friends....were kind of a good group there at ericsson..the group was he, a girl and another guy...they were all in the same team...all of them were really good friends...but according to my bro..the other guy was a lil weaker emotionally/personality wise so the girl kinda doted on him more...where my bro is the more sophisticated kinds...but newaz things were going on good between them....and my bro kinda liked the girl....and he wanted to ask her out sometime in the next few days..but then one fine day...she and the other guy went out with the friends of the other guy...
and after that she avoided being with my bro...she was spending more time with the other guy and his friends..after a while all this started getting to my bro and he started coming back home a little depressed...and it showed on his face...something which was visible to the folks...and they felt bad to see him all depressed and irritated at home..they told me to speak to him and find out whats wrong....so i spoke to him and i told me the details that i have just mentioned above....and he told me that he feels bad that he has lost out to someone who is inferior to him in personality, talent n all n all....he says probably he is too competitive that it is taking him so long for letting go of her...
its been like 3- 4 months since all this happened...and this thing is still getting to him daily...well i dont knw what to tell him...he goes to work and comes back home...and he doesnt even have anyone to talk to so often as almost all of his friends are dispersed around the country...and that makes the situation a little more bleak....
anyways so what i was looking for is some thoughts/suggestions/initiatives(from girls)...to find a way out of this situation for him....
so lets hear it out :)
my bro is 22...he is working with Ericsson in Gurgaon as a Network engineer...he did his engineering from amity noida. Most of his friends are either outside Delhi or working at distant locations in delhi...
okie..coming to the "problem" that he is facing...he and two of his other friends....were kind of a good group there at ericsson..the group was he, a girl and another guy...they were all in the same team...all of them were really good friends...but according to my bro..the other guy was a lil weaker emotionally/personality wise so the girl kinda doted on him more...where my bro is the more sophisticated kinds...but newaz things were going on good between them....and my bro kinda liked the girl....and he wanted to ask her out sometime in the next few days..but then one fine day...she and the other guy went out with the friends of the other guy...
and after that she avoided being with my bro...she was spending more time with the other guy and his friends..after a while all this started getting to my bro and he started coming back home a little depressed...and it showed on his face...something which was visible to the folks...and they felt bad to see him all depressed and irritated at home..they told me to speak to him and find out whats wrong....so i spoke to him and i told me the details that i have just mentioned above....and he told me that he feels bad that he has lost out to someone who is inferior to him in personality, talent n all n all....he says probably he is too competitive that it is taking him so long for letting go of her...
its been like 3- 4 months since all this happened...and this thing is still getting to him daily...well i dont knw what to tell him...he goes to work and comes back home...and he doesnt even have anyone to talk to so often as almost all of his friends are dispersed around the country...and that makes the situation a little more bleak....
anyways so what i was looking for is some thoughts/suggestions/initiatives(from girls)...to find a way out of this situation for him....
so lets hear it out :)
60 comments:
i dont get it, he feels depressed because he likes the girl and wants to go out with her or because he lost her to someone he thinks is worse than him?? there is a difference.. like if he really needs this girl or only wants to prove he is better...
@lena...he knows hes better than the other guy...at the same time he likes the girl and wants to go out with her but she happens to be with the other guy whom he knws isnt the best guys out there...
theres ntn abt proving he is better here...
well since she is with the other guy, he will eventually come over it. Dont we all go through it? thats experience... a bitter one :( but no advice will help him here
@lena...well ya...the biggest issue there is that they are in the same team..n he gets to see her everyday.....with the other guy...
i had a feelin u'd write abt this...
anyways ive thought but i havent come up with anything except he should find himself an 'everyday frnd' elsewhere... maybe in another team in his office... i dunno ...
im still thinkin will let u know if i come up with somethin else
@vandita...thanks...well i told him the same...but then...again its difficult as he is network support and its shift job kinda thing..but lets see how things work for him in that way
it seems to me like the 'other guy n his friends' bitched about your bro n the girl is either too foolish or too smart. Either ways your bro should not go out with her :x
@lukkydivz...well he doesnt intend to go out with her at all...anyways..how r u??enjoying the rains in hyd now?
rain+ice cream+ super hot jalebi :) Got drenched while i was coming back home from my java classes :)
I hope u like the city as well :)
well...he has to learn to let go...and be more accepting...though i m not a gal...hehe...just my two cents worth...
ask him to try not to be rude...he may not be...but sometimes we do get prejudiced..and we find ourselves acting in ways we are rarely accustomed to..
hez in n/w support...ask him to take up blogging... :)
the girl wants to be with a weaker..man..or is the man pretending tobe toget sympathy from girls.Ihad one such guy who pretended tobe gud and innocent.So ask him to wait for the right chnce for the girl to realise.Ask him not show it off..which is goign to make Him weaker..infront of the guy who is goign out with the girl:)And may be the girl is not lucky enough toget a sincere strong man:).
why does he need frnds..he can dolott of things like readingbook.and finding abt himslef..imporving technical..skills..taking sessions at company..which wil put toomany cute chikcs inhis basket..ask him to be smart:)
groupismism is bad..ask him get social..with every one..ths the way you got to be at office smile at evry one live with evry one say good bye to every oen together.i speak to evry one at office fromw tach man to the boss..It makes me feel happy and relaxed.And Net working is so much intresting ask him 2 upgrade his knowldge try some music classes
I find the only way to get over a crush is to acquire a new one...or eat a lot of ice cream His call.
:-))
just from gals is it?;-))
to tell you... just "MOVE ON"...and time heals every zakhm...bahut hi filmy dialogue hain ;-))
arrey ladkiyon kii kami nahi...and belive me.. god has soemthing better for him... thats why she's gone:-))
btw u r tagged:-))
I agree with Lena. What does he exactly want to do?
**but she happens to be with the other guy whom he knws isnt the best guys out there
ok. But why does he care abt a girl who doesnt seem to u'stand that in the first place? Let her learn it the hard way.
Keshi.
@lukkydivs....good..even i got drenched a bit ystrdy while coming back frm work...
i like the city..but theres no one to hang arnd with :(
@humble devil...well hes not much of an online guy....so he wont blog and all...dont think hes rude to her..but then it bugs him to see her everyday for more than 8 hrs in day with the other guy...hes working on it tho :)
@unknown(anjz)....he also says the same thing that u ve written in ur first comment...
well i ve told him to increase his social circle...but then its kinda difficult in a shift job...but hes working on it....so lets see...
and yeah he has started reading books n all...so hoping that things work out soon for him :)..thanks for all the advice :)
@meghan...will u become his new crush :D
@chakoli...well even i ve told him the same thing..but lets see how things work out for him....
n abt only from girls...well just getting the right perspective i ld say :)
@keshi...he just wants to be happy...he is pretty down n out..n i want him to be happy...
the worst part is that he sees her daily for 8+ hrs with the other guy as they all are in the same team...so it makes the day a lil difficult for him
:-)))
ohhh... I guess guys are master in giving a perspective abt gals;-))
@chakoli...well its always good to ve a diverse opinion on things :)
Hi
first time over here.
I think whatever happens, happens for the best.
may be some thg best is waiting for ur bro.
@sandhya...welcome to the blog...well thats what even i believe in :)
ok from personal experience... I'd say that the only way to let go of someone is to get another one! :P
@ash89...well only if it was that simple and easy to do... :)...welcome to my blog :)
Hi there! This is my the first time here.
Firstly, the only way to get out of this is to "MOVE ON".
He should try n hangout with other friends from office or.....he has to be mentally strong and you have to help him with that. Make him realize that there could be something better in store for him. "Its not the end of the world".
All the best!!! :)
@realistic me....wow i have august company on my blog now...someone from nift delhi hauz khas :D
well trust me i have been trying to do that for the last month or so..but then it works in patches...as i am in different city n hes in a different city :)
not rude to her...i meant to the other guy!!!
one has to show by example that one'z a better human being...
and even then the girl doesnt change...then he has to accept things as they are and move on...
:)
I think he should just go and have a talk with her. Let her know of his feelins for her. (make sure he doesn't put down the other guy though, that wouldn't be very polite and neither very diplomatic)
If it works out, cool. If it doesn't well, help your brother get over it bby talking to him occasionally.
I hope everything gets okay soon!
thanks for droppin by my blog. :)
@humble devil...well he cant b explicitly/outwardly rude to him as they are on the same team at the work place
@busy writer...well i do try to talk to him occasionally and try to help him out with it...lets see how things work out for him :)
ask him to forget it and move on :) life doesnt stop for nebody :)
do i add you up sir?
Yup... its actually good..but soemtimes it screws u:-))
tell him dat its not he lost the girl to an inferioir man....he was just saved from investing (emotionally) more into an inferior girl!! the man we choose to be our partner reflects our innerself! so if he thinks d man she is with is inferior...d fact is that she herself is inferior too!
i wud sound sarcastic but i feel...ur bro just wants to own her coz fr now he feels 'lost to infe...blah blah'...
what starts at a wrong notion of inferiority...who decided who is inferior???????
the gal sided with this guy and thats her choice... simple...
*i know i aint helping (wat u asked actually) but coz i read it, i needed to pen down wat i felt!!!!
**the worst part is that he sees her daily for 8+ hrs with the other guy as they all are in the same team...so it makes the day a lil difficult for him
well Mav, one thing I cant u'stand is having feelings or feeling sad abt someone who dun give two hoots abt u!
I guess Im different. :)
Keshi.
hey am here after a while ya....
its not taht if he cant have her he cant have anyone....so he has something better in store for him...he nneds to change the way he is looking at it...optimistic types :)
anwyays how have u been...goa n all i so wud love to goa in this weather....
i still dont know the whole story.
if he really thinks the gal has gone to the person who is inferior to him then he should better talk to the gal and tell his feelings.he might as well know why the girl loves tht guy ...nobody is a looser here. its just the choice. she chose to like the other guy.Period.
and your bro chose to feel depressed thinking abt it.Period.First your bro needs to know what HE WANTS.if he really wants her and GO FOR IT. he hasnt even tried yet na!!!he really needs to take action rather than thinking!!he should talk to her.
find anotherrrr girl- worthier, hotter,n more sensible.. when he's got it all, it makes more sense to be with someone who's on the same ground as him, not for sum whiney woman who caters to a sissy guy!
:):):)
In Goa? :(
Keshi.
@ashu..kash itna asaan hota :)
@buzzz...sure anytime :)
@chakoli...lol...
@gunj...well thats true...but then sometimes the ground reality is a bit different and that does change the kinda effort required to think ideally :)
@d sinner...well abt who decided who was inferior...it wasnt me..it was an yr long interaction and observation that made my bro think like that abt that guy......
@keshi...well everyones different...so maybe one day he ll be like u in thinking :)
@anvita...well im hoping he lets go of her soon...
im good..got back to hyd on sat nite..had a stop over at mumbai on my way back...felt good to b there for an hr tho :)
@geet...well i think he has tried..but then even if he has to go for it...then it might become a work issue...as they are on the same team..so its kinda difficult...nobody wants to disturb the team dynamics and no boss would tolerate it too :)
@rantra...well true...even i totally agree with u...u game?? :D
@keshi...back :)
aww....I wish him luck :)
HUGZ n WB Mav!
Keshi.
@keshi..thanks :)...how r ya??
good and in love. :)
Keshi.
@keshi..lol...with the sinhalese singer??
well, tell your brother to get over it. there are other guys out there.
i'm sure your brother is good person. but the girl has to like you as well. the chemistry isn't there for both of them.
i personally wouldn't hangout with the girl and the friend anymore as a group. but i still
want to be friends with the guy
and not girl.
why..coz i'm sure the other guy knows u like her girl. u don't want to get into a drama.
u never know how things turned out. i'm an awesome person...
guys don't see that. that's their problem.
@dalicia..in whose shoes r u talking???kinda confusing comment..lol
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